Love is...

How do you know if you are in love with someone? I used to ask my friends this question all the time. One of my friends said "you know when you are willing to die for the person", another said "when you feel utterly comfortable with the person", the most common answer I got was "you just know". I don't think there is a real answer to the question, I think all of us experience it differently, but I want to take this opportunity to share with you what I think love is.

Recently, I've learned that love is composed of three things: self sacrifice, forgiveness, and acceptance. 

I think when you love someone, you are willing to sacrifice for him/her. The person become so important to you that you start to place his/her happiness before your own. You become willing to compromise because you just want that person to be happy. It could be simple things like doing things you don't want to do or eat things you don't want to eat. Or it could be more complicated like supporting them in the decisions they've made that could hurt you. The most important thing is that you are doing all this not because you have to, but because you truly want to.

When I think more deeply about this, I realized that's exactly the love God has for us. If we humans, can have a sacrificing love for each other like this, how much more must our God love us. Here is Jesus, who could have anything in the world, who is in control of all things, He willingly came into the world to die for us. He did this not because He has to, but because He regarded us more than His own life and suffering. This is one of my favorite verse, and it sums it up pretty well.

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

You also know when you are in love with someone when you can forgive them for hurting you. We all hurt each other intentionally and unintentionally, especially those we are close to. Sometimes we cause each other harm with our actions, other times it is with our words. Forgiveness does not come easy, but it is God's command.

"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Colossian 3:13

I think when you truly love someone, it is easy to forgive them for the pain they've caused you. Again, you do it because you want to, not because you have to. This forgiveness is not a superficial forgiveness where you just say it verbally, but you've truly forgiven them in your heart. Some people say "I forgive, but I don't forget". I don't know if it is true forgiveness in this case because how can you say you've forgiven them when you can't stopping thinking about how they have hurt you.

Jesus demonstrated true forgiveness for us in so many ways. The most obviously way is that when He was being crucified on the cross, Jesus said :

 "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."Luke 23:34

When I was a young believer, I used to wonder all the time why Jesus was able to pray for the people that were crucifying Him. Why doesn't He hate them or curse them instead? Then I understood, it is because His love for the people is far greater than anything else.

Finally, I think love is about accepting the person as a whole, faults and all. It is easy to love someone because of their good qualities, but it is harder to love them when you see so clearly of their faults. No one is perfect, except God. I think when you love someone, you love them despite of their short comings. Their short comings are no longer what you focus on, instead, it becomes more like background noises that you notice occasionally.

This is how God's love for us is like. God loves us despite of our faults. No one knows us better than God, David wrote in Psalms:

 "You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar". Psalm 139:2

God knows even the things we are ashamed of that we try to hide from the rest of the world. Even though He knows everything about us, He still loves us nonetheless.