The Penny Syndrome

A friend of mine has started a drive recently called the Penny Drive. What she does is that she leaves penny jars at various locations for people to drop their pennies in. She then uses this money to for various purposes such as purchasing food for the homeless. This whole drive started with the motto, a penny saved is a penny helped. When I first heard of this drive, I thought to myself, can a penny really make a difference? Then in just the last few months, my friend has collected over $500 just in pennies! She has bought many pairs of socks for the homeless, along with other essential needs for the life on the street. Who knew something as insignificant as pennies can make such a difference in our society? It's interesting to me how disregarded pennies are in our society. I mean, when a penny is dropped on the floor, most people don't even bother bending down and pick it up anymore. Recently, there has even been petitions trying to remove pennies from circulating in Canada. But to most charities, small contributions, even pennies, can make a huge difference.

The reason I'm writing about this is because I think we've all suffered from something The Daily Bread called the Penny Syndrome. It's the feeling of insignificance and worthlessness, just like a penny. Whether we feel this way because of the circumstances around us or because of the people around us, it makes us feel doubtful about ourselves and our abilities. Sometimes we simply feel like we can't do anything right, or that we are no good. This is especially pertinent in our spiritual life. I don't know about you, but I've questioned in the past how my limited gifts and talents can really make any difference in this world for God's kingdom. Then God reminded me, it's not the gifts we have that matters, it's our willingness to offer up those gifts that really matters.

We all know the story of Jesus feeding five thousand people with just five loaves of bread and two small fishes. When Jesus finished teaching, He asked the disciples to feed the five thousand people that gathered around them. The only food the disciples had was those five loaves of bread and two fishes offered up by a little boy. To feed five thousand people, the gift of five loaves of bread and two fishes seem so insignificant right? I'm sure the little boy and the disciples felt silly even mentioning the gift. But Jesus used that minuscule gift and turned it into something so substantial. He fed everyone with the bread and the fish, and there were even left overs. Taking a small boy's offering and turning it into feast for five thousand people is nothing to Jesus, in fact, He probably could have fed the people without the small offering. But if the little boy didn't offer up his food, this particular miraculous story wouldn't have happened the way it did. And the little boy would have missed out on being a part of a miraculous story. The truth of the matter is, Jesus doesn't need us, but He wants to include us in His story. He wants to see us step up and offer the little that we have. He wants us to give our all to Him, then He will take our small and insignificant gifts, multiply them, and use it to impact thousands of people for His glory. 

What we need to remember is that God is not limited by our limitations. In fact, He is gloried by our limitations. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians regarding his experience with his weaknesses,

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:8-9

God knows we are not perfect, He knows all our strengths and weaknesses. Like that little boy who had very little to offer, we too have very little to give. But like the way Jesus used the little boy's offering to bless thousands of people, He too will use the little offering we have to bless the people around us. So next time you feel like what you have to offer is too minuscule to be used, remember God will use you as long as you are willing to be used. Edward Everett Hale once wrote, "I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can." Offering what we have to God is that something we can do, how He uses it is up to Him. The question is, are you willing to give Him all that you have?

As some of you may know, I will be heading to Haiti for my mission trip tomorrow. I have struggled for the last few weeks with doubts and fears regarding how God can use such an insignificant me on the trip. I guess you can say, I was suffering from the Penny Syndrome. Then God reminded me of this lesson of placing all I have to offer before Him, even if the offerings are very small. Then He will use them for His great purpose.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

A year older and a year wiser? :D

Cakes and birthday dinners later, I have turned a year older. Some people say, one year older and one year wiser. Not in my case, I really don't feel any wiser, but I do feel like I've gotten more life experiences under my belt.

How does it feel turning 27? I have to admit, I was totally dreading it. I wasn't apprehending it because I feared getting older, nooo, I was apprehending it because I felt like I didn't hit some of the milestones I needed to hit when I'm 27. I'm not going to bore you with the details, but it just felt like I didn't achieve some of the things I'm expected to achieve by the time I'm 27. Then one day, I had one of those "eureka moment". It was the moment when I questioned, who set these darn milestones anyways? I mean, is it me or society? And by society, I meant my parents, :P Anyways, it occurred to me that it actually didn't matter that much to me that these milestones weren't hit, but I felt like I'm expected to hit them. The truth is, I am so thankful for my life. I feel like I am at the place I wanted to be at age 27. I am surrounded by such wonderful family and friends. I have the opportunities to do the things I am passionate about. I am loved and supported by people all around me, people who accept me regardless of my weaknesses and mistakes. Finally, I have the true God who loves me unconditionally.

Now a little reflection on last year. There is no doubt that the 26th year of my life was a tough year. It was probably the most eventful year of my life so far. There were quite a bit of ups and downs to say the least, many losses, many gains, many laughters, many tears... at the same time, it was the year I grew the most both emotionally and spiritually. I celebrated my 26th birthday with a bang. It just happened to be during my very first mission trip. It was wonderful celebrating it with my new friends and team mates. It was the start of beautiful friendships that hopefully will last a lifetime. It was also wonderful to be able to start my 26th year doing something I'm passionate about, being a part of something I felt called to be a part of. We were a team with one purpose, to share Jesus's love with others. At the same time, we were a team held together by His love. There is no friendship like the friendships built during a mission trip because of all the emotions we've experienced together. I am so thankful for this whole experience and for the people who were part of this adventure with me.

Anyways, I knew the 26th year would be exciting from the start, I just didn't know it would be this exciting. Many times throughout the year I felt like I was on a roller coaster ride, I was being pulled up and down, left and  right, yanked in all directions. But God was like that safety belt on the roller coaster, even though I was being tossed all around, He had kept me safe and sound. Through all the roller coaster actions, I've learned many lessons, reflected on many of my mistakes, and grew exponentially in my faith. For this I am so thankful. As I pray about the 27th year of my life, I am reminded of one verse.

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

Now five cakes later, I am officially 27! And I can honestly say, I am happy and proud to be a year older. To all the people in my life, old friends and new friends, I am so blessed to be on this life journey with you. Here to another year of learning, growth, adventures, peace, and indescribable joy together!

Who are you?

I was at a women's conference few days ago hosted by an organization called Living Water. It was quite an awesome and powerful conference, I've learned and experienced a lot. I want to take this opportunity to share with you some of the things I learned.

One of the speakers shared with us about her experience in various relationships. She said she had one relationship after another because she was afraid of being lonely and she didn't have a sense of who she was. She was like a chameleon, she just adapted into the person her boyfriend at the time wanted her to be. That was the only way she could define herself, through relationships with her boyfriends. It never occurred to her that she was doing this until she went for a beauty pageant tryout, the judges asked her what her interests were. She stood there in silence gasping for air because she didn't know. Her interest has always been defined by the interests of her boyfriends, and during that time she didn't have a boyfriend, so she didn't have any answers for the judges. That was the wake up call for the speaker.

The reason I wanted to share this is because I think everyone in a relationship is capable of making this mistake. In fact, I think we've all done this. Maybe not to the same extend as the speaker, but we've all lost a part of ourselves by bending in a certain way for the person we care about. Sometimes in relationships we can lose a sense of who we are and what we are about. I myself  have been guilty of this. I've cared about someone so much that I've completely lost track of who I was and how I defined myself. No one forced me to make these changes, but I myself choose to make those changes subconsciously. It's only in retrospective that I realized I've done this. Then I reflect back on the relationship and I simply can't believe some of things I've said or done, especially some of the decisions I've made.

Now on the other hand, is it so bad to change ourselves for the person we care about? I don't think it's a bad thing at all. There is nothing wrong with trying to pick up the same interest or trying to change our bad habits for the person we care about. Change can be a positive thing. What I do think is important is that the changes occur on both sides of the relationship, not just one side. What I see too often is a lopsided relationship where one person is changing him or herself completely and the other side is not changing at all. It's like two pieces of a puzzle, instead of both parties changing to fit with each other, one side is changing himself or herself too much for the sake of the other. Then when the relationship end, the party that changed too much can lose a sense of who they are because they had let their relationship define everything that they are. So when the relationship ends, they feel simply feel lost.

That's why I think the time when we are single is a really important time. In our society, it's tough being single. Especially when we reach a certain age, our society expects us to be in a relationship. But during our single time, it's a great time for self discovery. It's the time we can take off our mask and be the person that we are. It's a time to question, what are my passions? What are my dreams? What are my strengths and what are my weaknesses? What pushes my buttons? It's a great time to reflect on who we are and what makes us, well, us.

Now, here is the amazing thing. Our God always sees who we are. He doesn't just see the mask we put on or who we pretend to be, He looks pass all that and He sees us for who we truly are. Even when we are lost and we don't even know what we are about, God knows exactly who we are. In Genesis 16 is the story between Abram, Sarai, and Hagar. Abram's wife Sarai couldn't conceive, so she gave her slave Hagar to Abram. Abram slept with Hagar and Hagar became pregnant. After conceiving, Hagar started to despise Sarai. So Sarai became mad and started to mistreat Hagar, then Hagar fled from Sarai in fear. God spoke to Hagar as she escaped from Sarai and God comforted her. (Genesis 16: 3-12) Hagar then named God El-Roi, the God who sees me.

"She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: 'You are the God who sees me,' for she said, 'I have now seen the One who sees me.'" Genesis 16:13

God saw Hagar in her time of need. God also saw Hagar for who she was. In the entire chapter of Genesis 16, neither Abram nor Sarai addressed Hagar by her name. But when Hagar was on the run, God called her by her name. God knew Hagar's name and He comforted her. He didn't just see her righteousness or her wrongdoings, He saw her for who she was. Hagar knew she wasn't invisible to God, God saw her for everything that she was, hence, she named God El-Roi. This is the same for us, we are not just one of countless faces in the crowd, God sees each one of us for who we are. So for those of us who has lost a part of who we are when we were in a relationship, and we are working on redefining ourselves, God knows exactly who we are and He loves us for everything that we are. Remember, the God who sees Hagar is the same God who sees each one of us.

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father--and I lay down my life for the sheep." John 10:14-15

Pearl House Restaurant

Address: 7152 Sperling Avenue, Burnaby
 
ET and GL are getting married in September and I have the honor of being one of their bride maids. Since ET and I haven't seen each other in a while, we wanted to meet up for lunch prior to the bride maid dress fitting appointment. One of the other bride maid JL also came along Since we were all around the Burnaby area, I wanted to take them for some bubble tea at Pearl House Restaurant.

Pearl House Restaurant is probably one of my favorite Taiwanese bubble tea joint in Burnaby. I've always enjoyed their food and atmosphere. And for a Chinese restaurant, the service is not that bad. My only compliant is that there is very limiting parking. The restaurant wasn't that busy, but we still had to drive round and round for parking.

Now onto the food. I had the seafood stir fry noodle. It was delicious. There was a good mix of different seafood and veggies, I really enjoyed this. The only thing is that I found this to be a bit too salty.

JL had the wonton soup. She wanted something that reminds her of her childhood. So wonton soup it is. She said it was really good.

ET had the wonton soup and deep fried pork combo. I tried a piece of the pork, it was average. But ET liked it quite a bit.

Of course, I've never walked into a Taiwanese restaurant without getting a bubble tea, today was no exception. I got a regular bubble tea with pearls to go. I've always been a big fan of the bubble tea at this restaurant, and this drink did not disappoint.

Overall, I had an awesome lunch with my friends. On a personal note, congrats on your engagement ET. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I loved your dress, you are going to be such a beautiful bride!