Patiently wait

Recently I learned an important lesson on waiting for God. Patience has never been my strong suit. I don't like waiting, period. This applies to every aspect of my life. There is the saying that God never closes a door without opening a window, but I think sometimes there is a time gap between the closing of that door and the opening of that window. I trust this saying with all my heart, but I often get impatient waiting for that window to open. So what do I do? I try to take control of the situation and make my own window. Of course, often this does not work. Often I just make things worse, not better. I forget to wait for the Lord, I forget to rely on the Lord, and I try to get God to do things according to my timing, not His.

Some people might ask, is it so bad to try to do things for ourselves? God help those who help themselves right? I agree. I think God always demands 100% effort from us in all that we do. Jesus said in Matthew,

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be open for you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7-8

Note that He didn't say, "it will be given to you, you will find it, and the door will be open for you.". No, He told us to ask, seek, and knock. These are the things we need to do, then God will do the rest. But often, we fall into the trap of expecting something to happen just because we did our best. We expect to see result right away just because we've done everything we could. Then when things don't happen according to our timing or our way, we get disappointed and frustrated with ourselves and with God. The truth of the matter is, sometimes even when we put in everything we've got, things still might not happen the way we wanted. We can't control God's timing and His will. Our prayer will be answered according to His timing and His purpose.

"There is a time for everything for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." Ecclesiastes 3:1

For me, waiting is a hard lesson to learn. But slowly, I think I'm beginning to get a hang of it. To me waiting for God is kind of like sailing. When we go sailing, we have to be prepared. We set up the sail, we adjusted the rudder, we set the centerboard, we do everything we need to do to start sailing, but if there is no wind, our sailboat is not going anywhere. It is the same in life. When we want something to happen, we entrust it in prayer, we put in our 100% and do everything we need to do to prepare for it, but if it's not God's will or His timing, it is not going to happen. David wrote many times how he is waiting on God. My favorite one is the reference in Psalm 130.

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5-6

For me this verse is most illustrative because I understand so well how it feels to wait for the morning to come. Every time I do a night shift, around 3 am is the hardest. I keep looking at the clock waiting for the night to be over and for the morning to come. At that point, I am battling to stay awake and alert, and I am trying to find something to occupy myself to speed up the process. However, no matter how dreary the night is, I know for sure the morning will come. The sun will rise and the darkness will fade. This is something we have confidence in. This should be the same for our life. No matter how bleak the situation may look, we need to have the confidence that God will answer our prayers and show us the way. Right now, just like the watchmen waiting for the morning, we too are just waiting for that first ray of light.