broken me, wholesome Him

Ever since my trial, many people have asked me why I've been so hard on myself. They asked why I'm so focused on what I did wrong and what I need to change. Everything that happened is not just my fault, but it's a combination of a lot of things. I agree with this, but at the same time, I can't control what anyone else does, I can only control what I do. I can control how I feel about the situation, whether I choose to hold a grudge or to learn from it, whether I choose to think negative things or positive things regarding this whole situation...Instead of focusing on what I've lost, I rather this whole experience be a constructive experience, I rather focus on what I've gain, because if God allowed the trial to happen, then He is shaping me through the trial to become a better person.

Lately though, I've been feeling like a broken vessel with many cracks. As I rediscover myself and reflect, I keep discovering new cracks as I try to seal the old ones; it just feel like a never-ending job. Sometimes I wonder with so many wounds, how will God ever use me? Then He reminded me that it is the broken vessels He uses, not the perfect ones. Throughout the bible, none of the people God used greatly were perfect. God used Moses, who murdered someone and run off to the wild to hide; He used David, who send Uriah the Hittite to the front line to die so that he could marry Uriah's wife, then God used Peter, who had anger issues and he denied Jesus three times...All these people are far from perfect, yet God used each one of them for His kingdom. David wrote in Psalm,

"I have been forgotten like one who is dead; I have become like a broken vessel." Psalm 31:12

David described himself as a broken vessel, forgotten by everyone, seemingly useless, but God remembered him and used him nonetheless. This is exactly what we are, although we are broken potteries with many weaknesses, but God can use each one of us to our full potential. Even a broken vessel can be used to scoop water, so can we be used by God. 

Paul reminded us in 2 Corinthians that it's a good thing that we have weakness and we are broken because only when we are broken, God's light can shine through. When we are not broken, we are a vessel that's so full of ourselves that nothing else can fit. Only when there are cracks and things inside drains out, then God can fit in and His light can shine through the cracks. 

"But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I (Paul) will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Finally, I wanted to share this song with you. We've all made choices we regret and we've all made mistakes in our past. We all have imperfections we are working on. There are times when we feel like we are such failures. This is a great song that remind us that we are so much more than our mistakes and our imperfections. We are remade in God. 

you are more - Tenth Avenue North