A lesson in surrendering

I've learned over the past year that we have very little control over our circumstances. No matter how much we try to fight it, no matter how much we cry or throw temper tantrums, if something is not in God's plan for us, it will not happen. Does this make me sound resigned? Perhaps. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. People often say that God doesn't close a door without opening a window. For most people, when a door closes, they will go and look for a window. But not me; I'm the person who will throw myself at the door, do everything I can to pry that door open. Only when I'm bruised and bleeding all over with no energy left, that's when I will give up and look for that window. Sounds silly doesn't it? Yet, I think it's something a lot of us do. Why is it so hard for us to let go of our hopes or expectations? Why is it so difficult for us to accept that some things are the way they are for a reason? I think it's because we are letting our desires take hold of us. We are letting what we want take precedence over everything else. It says in Isaiah,

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I think this is something we all know. But "knowing" something is one thing, and "accepting" something is a whole other thing. It's hard for us to let go of our own desires, especially if it's something we so desperately want, something we would do anything for. It's hard to let go because letting go means giving up, it means surrendering. But as Christians, isn't that what we are called to do? We are called to surrender our all to God, this include our desires and our expectations. Paul wrote in his letter to the church of Philipi,

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ." Philippians 3:7-8

Paul remind us in these verses that we need to let go of all things, so that we may gain Christ. What does that mean? It means that when we let go of our own expectations and our own plans, we grow more in Christ, both in our relationship with Him, and our likeness to Him. In a way, we are like water jugs filled to the rim with our own wishes and hopes. But if we don't pour some of that water out, we can't make room for His plans. God has amazing plans for you and I, but sometimes because we are holding on to our "dirty water", we are not allowing God's fresh and clean water to fill us and our life.

As I meditate on this, one story that I was reminded of is the story of John the Baptist. When John the Baptist's disciples came to John to complain about the fact that Jesus is getting all the attention and respect, what did John the Baptist say? He said: 

"The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom's voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:29-30

I think this is a great reminder for us. As we mature in our walk of faith, we must let our own desires and expectations dominate us less and less, and we must let His plans and desires direct us more and more. Chinese philosopher Lao Zi once said, "when I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." I think this saying is quite fitting for us Christians. We need to let go of who we are and what we hold onto so tightly. Only then, He can work through our life for us to become who we can be.

No doubt, this is a very difficult lesson to learn. For me, I am just starting to grasp this. I am still trying to come to term with a loss I've experienced. I'm still trying to accept that this is all a part of God's plan. I am still trying to let go of my own desires and hope. I've fought a good fight, but I am bruised all over. Even then I'm still not quite ready to let go completely, but I'm learning, learning to let go one finger at a time.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

During the dark times...

Okay guys, I know I haven't wrote anything in a very long time, two months and 23 days to be exact. I have no good excuse, I've simply been too busy. Then I went on a month long trip, and now I'm back, picking up not exactly where I've left off. Life is still hectic, filled with lots of ups and downs, but I am thankful for every moment of everyday. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason, and our God is in control and He has amazing plans for each one of us. So if you are going through a rough time right now, hang in there, one day it will all fit together.

We all go through various trials in life. Lets face it, no one lives a life full of rainbows, and colors, and dancing stars. We all face different situations where we feel pain, anger, disappointment, frustration, or all of the above. What do you do during this time of difficulty?

I think all of us are the same. When we go through trials, we are focused on ourselves. We are focused on our pain, our frustration, our disappointment, our anger, our sadness... We pray hard for ourselves and our situations. We ask others to pray for us. We question why things happen the way they did. We lift all that we feel, all that we say, all that we do before God. We ask Him to guide us and give us peace. Is there anything wrong with that? No, I don't think so. Because as we spend time reflecting, questioning, and praying, it is often during this time that we grow closer to God. Now why am I writing this? Because as I go through a time of trial feeling weak under the weight of the baggage I'm carrying, I am doing exactly all of the things I've listed above. I am wondering though, besides praying for myself and focusing on myself, what else should I be doing? 

Recently, my question was answered. I was reminded of what Jesus did and said during His darkest time. When He was on the cross facing the physical pain of the cross, hearing all the jeering and laughter of the people He loved, bearing the weight of all our sins, feeling the separation from the Father, He only said a few things on the cross. First, He asked for forgiveness from God for the very people who wronged Him.

'Jesus said, "Father, forgive the, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.' Luke 23:34

The next thing Jesus said was to the criminal hanging beside Him. The criminal repented his sins and asked Jesus to remember him,

'Jesus answered him,"I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise."' Luke 23:43

After this, Jesus saw His mother and John while He was on the cross,

'When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

If you noticed, in all the examples, Jesus did not focus on Himself, instead, He was focused on the people around Him. First He prayed for the people who were persecuting him, then He comforted the criminal beside Him, then He asked John to take care of His mother. I mean, during the hardest trial of Jesus's life, He did not just focus on how much He was hurting, He attended to the needs of the people around Him. Isn't that amazing? How many of us can do that? We don't even need to put ourselves in that very situation. Even in our everyday situation when we face a hard trial, when our heart is aching with sadness and frustration, how many of us can honestly say that when we come before God in prayer, we spend majority of the time thinking about other people's needs and not thinking about our own needs? I admit that I can be selfish, I spend much of the time licking my own wounds and praying for the people I've hurt, but not enough time caring and praying for the people around me. I can be so involved in my own little world that I stop noticing people all the buzz around me. Through this I am reminded, reminded of what I need to do during a time of hardship, what I need to do during a time of pain. It's not to say that we can't question God or pray for ourselves, because even Jesus did that on the cross (Matthew 27:46), but it is a reminder for us to look up once a while from our misery and see the world around us.

In the end, I guess all I'm trying to say is, when we are going through a rough patch in life with our head down, sometimes we need to make that effort to look up and see the needs around us. Jesus gave us a great example of how He went through the biggest trial of His life, He looked beyond His own suffering to help others. What about us? What will we do during our time of darkness and suffering?

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

Curry King Cafe

Address: #5-4250 Kingsway, Burnaby
Website: http://www.currykingcafe.com/

NC's favorite restaurant is Curry King Cafe. So when he heard that PW and I were meeting up for lunch, he invited himself along and took us to his number one restaurant. Let's put it this way, NC has been there so many times that the waiter automatically gave him a 10% discount when he handed us the bill... Hey, not that I'm complaining, who doesn't love a little discount right? We also each received a bowl of soup on the house. Anyways, Curry King Cafe is a small Chinese restaurant in Burnaby along Kingsway. They have a small parking lot in the back with only like 4 stalls. The service here is like any other Chinese restaurant, rushed and abrasive.

Since NC loves this place so much, we let him order whatever he wanted. So we start with Singapore style Fried Vermicelli. It was probably my favorite dish here, slightly spicy with just the right amount of flavor. Often with fried noodles, I tend to find them too oily. Not the case with the vermicelli at Curry King, it wasn't greasy at all. 

The second dish we shared was sauteed beef with mixed vegetables. This was pretty good as well, although I did find the beef to be a little too chewy for my liking.

NC also highly recommended the plain congee, so we had to order that. To be fair, I've never been a big fan of plain congee, I always found it tasteless and bland. So I wasn't a big fan of this, although I did appreciate the glutinous nature of the congee.

The last dish we shared was the sweet and sour pork with pineapple. It was exactly as the name says, sweet and sour. I quite liked it, the pork was well done.

Overall, I really enjoyed Curry King Cafe. We polished off every single dish without a problem. If I was in the mood for Chinese food another day, I would definitely come back and order these dishes again. NC sure knew what he was talking about.

Changing Course

Pastor John shared a message the other day that really spoke to me, and I wanted to take this chance to share it with you. He started the service with a joke.

One night the captain of a tanker saw a light dead ahead.
He directed his signalman to flash a signal to the light which went.....
'Change course 10 degrees South.'
The reply was quickly flashed back...
'You change course 10 degrees North.'

The captain was a little annoyed at this reply and sent a further message.....
'I am a captain. Change course 10 degrees South.'
Back came the reply....
'I am an able-seaman. Change course 10 degrees North.'

The captain was outraged at this reply and send a message....
'I am a 240,000 ton tanker. CHANGE course 10 degrees South!'
Back came the reply...
'I am a LIGHTHOUSE. Change course 10 degrees North!!!!'

I thought this joke was hilarious. As I chuckled to myself at the joke, I also came to realization that this is a mistake anyone of us could make. What do I mean by this? I mean, often in life, we are set in our ways to do things a certain way. Or we plan ahead and we are determined to choose a certain path in life. Unfortunately, life doesn't always happen according to our plan. We don't always get into the school we want, or get the job we want, or even meet the people we want to meet. Even when we pray, we pray for the things our mind is set on. Then when things don't go our way, we get mad at God and we question Him why He didn't answer our prayers. The truth is, sometimes, we expect God to cater to our needs and our desires. As people, we all have to ingrained sense of importance. We sometimes feel that we are entitled to certain things in life. Then when life doesn't happen the way we want it to, we throw tamper tantrums and we question if God really loves us. If He really loves us, then why isn't He answering our prayers?

We are like the captain of the tanker in the joke, we have this sense of self importance. We believe that things need to alter their course in order to make room for our plans. But God is like the lighthouse, He doesn't need to move to make room for us. He was there first and everything is set into place. We expect God to cater to what we want, but why should He? He is the sovereign God! He sees and knows everything, and we will never be able to comprehend that. One of my favorite story growing up is a Chinese fable about a frog that lived in a well. The frog spent his entire life in the well looking up at the sky. He thought what he saw out of the well was the entire world. He thought he understood everything that happened outside the well because he spent his entire life looking at it. Then one day he got out of the well, that's when he realized how limited his understanding really was. Our understanding of our situations and everything around us is limited just like the frog. We only see a small portion of the big picture. So even if we think we know what is the best for us, that may not really the case. God said in Isaiah 55,

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Just like the captain of a tanker cannot ask the lighthouse to change its course, we too cannot expect God to alter His plans to fit with our desires. Sometimes it's about keeping an open mind about our situation. It's knowing that even though things are not going the way we expected or hoped for, our God is in control. It's taking that leap of faith to trust in the seemingly impossible. God never said by coming to faith we will receive everything we've ever wanted, but He did promise this:

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Bubble Queen

Address: 8700 McKim Way, Richmond

SSJ and I met up for bubble tea the other day. I've been wanting to try Bubble Queen since forever, so this was my opportunity! Bubble Queen is known for their flavored egg waffles and funky bubble tea flavors, so that was what I had my eyes on.

Bubble Queen is a really small little bubble tea joint in Richmond, it's so small that we actually missed it a few times looking for it. There were only 4 tables inside, I would imagine it is probably quite hard to find seats on the weekend. But since we went on a weekday, we had all the seats we wanted.

When I opened the menu, I was overwhelmed by the selection of choices. They all sounded delicious and different, I had the hardest time deciding what I wanted. They had combos and flavors you can't find anywhere else. Finally in the end, I settled for Mango Slush with pearls and mochi balls. It was delicious. The mochi ball's texture was similar to the pearls, but they were mango flavored so it added a nice kick to the drink. The slush itself was good, although it wasn't anything too special.

SSJ had Mango Avocado Slush with pearls. It was absolutely amazing. I never would have though mango and avocado could work so well together, but it was a perfect combo. I would return to Bubble Queen over and over just for this.

 As for the egg waffle, SSJ and I shared a green tea waffle. It was nice and crispy on the outside, chewy on the inside. Each waffle had a bit of red beans in it, it was an interesting twist. Although the concept was super cool and different, the green tea flavor and the red beans were barely detectable. I would still try their other flavor egg waffles, just with a little less expectation of intense flavor.

Overall, we had a wonderful time at Bubble Queen. I really enjoyed both the egg waffle and the drinks. I can't wait to go back to try their other items!

Joe Fortes Seafood & Chop House

Address: 777 Thurlow Street
Website: http://www.joefortes.ca/

I wanted to take my parents out for dinner the other day to celebrate a special occasion, I've been wanting to try Joe Fortes, so this was my opportunity. My dad and I are both carnivores, so Joe Fortes was perfect for us since we both love a good steak. My mom on the other hand, prefers seafood, which is fine since Joe Fortes apparently can do seafood as well.

Joe Fortes is a very beautiful restaurant with a very classic look. I loved the large chandelier hanging above the entrance. It's definitely not one of those places you can wear jeans and flip flops into.

As for the food. My mom and I started with their clam chowder. It was alright, nothing special about it. Dad decided to not order an appy, he wanted to save room for the steak, such typical Chinese thinking, lol.

For main course, dad and I of course had the steak. I had the small 5oz, he had the 10oz. I have to say, it was a very good steak. I like mine medium and I thought it was grilled to perfection. The peppercorn sauce was pretty standard, but it was pretty good nonetheless. 

As for my mom, she opted to have the seafood option, salmon. She quite enjoyed this,

As for dessert, we shared two options. One was the tiramisu. It wasn't impressive at all. I found it really bland, it actually tasted like a slice of chocolate cake instead of tiramisu.

The other dessert we picked was Crème Brûlée. Although I'm not a big fan of Crème Brûlée in general, I thought it was pretty good. The sugar coating on the top was nice and crispy, and bottom part was very creamy.

Overall, the ambiance of the restaurant was wonderful. The main dishes were good, but the clam chowder and the desserts are not as good. My advice, just eat the main and save your tummy for the great dessert places nearby.

A Father's Embrace

Yesterday when I was heading to church, I drove pass a father with his little toddler in front of a house. The father and his son were playing when the mother approached from a distance. The little boy looked up, saw his mother in the distance, dropped what he was doing and ran toward her. The mother kneeled down, open her arms toward the boy, and he ran into her arm. It was such a simple scene, and it's a scene I've seen many many times. But for some reason, yesterday, I was mesmerized by it. Both the look on the mother's face and the toddler's face captivated me. As I drove to church, I pondered why this scene tugged my heart ever so gently, yet so powerfully.

One of the worship songs we sang at church that day was a song called "Forever Reign". Part of the lyrics goes like this:

Oh, I'm running to your arms,
I'm running to arms
The riches of your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Tear streamed down my face as I sang this song, and I realized why the scene in the morning captured me. Like the mother waiting for her child to run into her arm, our Heavenly Father's arms are wide open waiting to embrace us. Our Father is always waiting for us with open arms, but a lot of times, we are the ones that are preventing ourselves from running to Him. Maybe it's because we are scared, or because we are ashamed, or because we are lost, regardless of the reasons, our Father is waiting patiently.

Remember when we were little, how safe and comfortable we felt in our parent's arm? As we get older and older, we are taught to be independent, and it's less and less appropriate for us to seek comfort in other's arms, even if they are our parents. We go on each day trying to solve our own problems, fight our own fights, find our own ways... But sometimes, all we really need is a pair of arms to hold us tight. Sometimes we need a pair of arms to rely on. Yesterday, I was reminded of the Father who is always there for me with open arms.

We all know the story of the prodigal son. It's a story about a son taking his inheritance and left his father. The son went somewhere and spent all his inheritance. When he was hungry and tired, he remembered how easy life was at home and he came back home (Luke 15:11-22). Then the Father not only took him back, but he had a celebration for the returning of his son. My favorite part of the story is this:

"But while he [the son] was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." (Luke 15:20)

Like this father, our Heavenly Father is also just waiting for us to come back to Him. He too is waiting to wrap His arms around us. He doesn't care aobut the mistakes we've made or the weight we carry on our shoulders. He is just waiting for us to come to him. Like a child finding peace and comfort in a parent's arms, may we find peace and rest in His arms.

Hillsong - Forever Reign

What8ver Cafe

Address: 1108 - 8328 Capstan Way
Website: http://www.what8ver.com/

Ever since I read about the toast box from Secret Eden, I could not stop thinking about it. For those of you unfamiliar with toast box, it basically is a large piece of bread soaked in condense milk, toasted, then layered with other dessert goodness. So I roped RN into trying this with me at What8ever cafe in Richmond. So this restaurant is a typical Taiwanese cafe with all the typical Taiwanese drinks and dishes. Toast box is actually not on the menu, so you have to specifically ask for it. Oh, and they only start serving it after 6pm, so if that's what you had your eyes on, don't go there for lunch.

Anyways, when we got there, I decided to go for my staple drink, honey green tea with pearls. It was delicious! The pearls were very well done, just the right level of chewiness and sweetness.

RN was feeling a bit cold, so she ordered the hot ginger tea. She said it was quite flavorful, since I'm not a big fan of ginger, I couldn't will myself into tasting it.

Now the star of the night, TOAST BOX! Now the picture doesn't quite do it justice, but this thing is huge! Toasted bread with ice cream, strawberry sauce, fresh fruits, pocky sticks, what more could  I want? It was delicious, crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. The only problem with this is that they burnt it slightly... but I was so excited I didn't even care. 

The server then carved this thing for us. He basically cut the sides exposing the sliced goodness inside. Then he removed the ice cream on the side so we can rip into the sliced toasty bread inside. It was heavenly. I highly recommend this to anyone eating around the area, it is a must try.

Haiti Experience Part 7 - the ending

This is my last blog about Haiti, it actually wasn't too hard deciding what to share on this blog. Ever since I got back, one question I've gotten the most often is, "if you have to summarize your experience in Haiti in one sentence, what would it be?" For me, it was something NWHCM director Janeil once said, it is experiencing the abundance of life in a place lacking abundance.

Haiti is an amazing place with amazing people, but it's by no means an easy place to live. We were all so spoiled by the luxuries we had at home that it was hard to adapt to a place that only provided the essentials. Yet, it is in a place lacking the abundance that I've experienced abundant life. Jesus said before:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)

I have heard of this verse many times, but I have to admit, before this trip, I've never understood what Jesus meant by abundant life. I didn't know what an abundant life meant, nor did I know how it felt to live an abundant life. Most of us live day by day filling our days with things we cared about. It could be work, family,  serving in church, friends, volunteering, sports... Don't get me wrong, these are all good things to fill our life with, but most of us pack our schedule so tightly with the things we care about that we lose the joy in doing these things. Is this what abundant life is all about? Packing our schedule as tightly as we can, doing as much as we can?

We've all had the experience of over scheduling ourselves with too many commitments. When this happens, we lose purpose in why we do the things we do. I'll be the first to admit that I've had the experience of spending time with a friend, but only to be distracted by the millions of things I needed to do in my mind. I mean, what's the point of spending time with a friend when we are only present physically, but not emotionally or mentally? When we meet up with a friend, we are there to share and to spend quality time together. But sometimes we become so consumed with our plans that we forget why we met up with a friend in the first place. In other words, sometimes we are so obsessed with doing as much as we can that we forget why we are doing something in the first place. Then over time as we spread ourselves thinly, we begin to lose sight of the important things and we begin to forget our purpose in life. This happens so easily that sometimes we don't even realize that it's happening. Then we become so burned out with the things we need to do that we can no longer find joy in doing them. It's especially times like this that we need to come before God and renew ourselves. It's times like this that we need to refocus our life and our energy.

For me, Haiti was a place of renewal and a place of rejuvenation. I think all of us went to Haiti leaving our baggages behind at home. Whether they are our troubles or burdens, pains or worries, they were all left behind. Life wasn't about packing schedules or trying to get things done, it was about serving God and serving the people God placed in our path. In Haiti, there was only one purpose and one goal, it is to live out the love of God. We were no longer distracted by our own worries, but we can concentrate on what we are called to do wholeheartely. When our gaze shift away from our own troubles onto the more important things, it is then that we can experience God's presence vividly and witness God's work at hand. This is a lesson I needed to learn, and it's a lesson I'm struggling with in my life back at home.

The mission statement of NWHCM is "Rescue, Restore, Redeem". Rescue is rescuing the oppressed by providing medical care to the poor, food to the hungry, and orphan care to the abandoned. Restore is restoring hope by running schools and organizing sustainable community development programs in needy areas. Redeem is redeeming God's people by planting churches, developing indigenous church leaders, and training effective Haitian ministers. I think this mission statement really encapsulate what NWHCM is all about. But for me personally, this trip was more than rescue, restore, and redeem, it was also a renewal for my spirit and a reminder for me of the more important things in life. I guess this lead back to my original question, what is abundant life? To me, abundant life is a purpose driven and meaningful life with God.

To end this post, I just want to say I am so thankful to be a part of this mission team, I am so thankful for all that I've learned and experienced. I know I titled this blog "the ending", but for me, this is really just the beginning, the beginning of many awesome life changing experiences with my Savior.

Pho Thai Hoa

Address: 1101-8328 Capstan Way

Website: http://www.phothaihoa.com/

RN and I got together again for a fun day under the sun, I mean rain. She used to work in Richmond so she knows the food scene there well. She wanted to take me to her favorite Vietnamese place, and of course, I couldn't say no to that. Pho Thai Hoa is a small restaurant with really funky decor. The decor wasn't very Asian, it was more fusion.

I noticed their extensive drink menu right away, so I couldn't resist ordering their avocado slush. It was amazing! It was so good and filling that it was like a meal in itself. The drink was so creamy and delicious, I can't even begin to describe how much joy it brought me. :D

Since I wasn't too hungry after my gigantic drink, I ordered the spring roll as my main. The spring roll was okay, I found it too be a little too dry for my liking though.

RN had the beef noodle soup, also known as Pho. This is her staple food when she comes to this restaurant. The thing that intrigued me the most is the funny look deep fried battered prawn on the side. I've never seen that being served with pho before.

Overall, I quite enjoyed my time at Pho Thai Hoa. The food was good and the service was decent. The drive is a bit too far for me from Burnaby, so unless I'm in the area, I won't be trekking over here. I did find out that they have another location on Kingsway, that's a lot closer than Richmond :)